DUNK TANK SIGN UP SHEET:
disclaimer: organizers of this event, or any other event related or not related to this event are not responsible for anything anyone at this event or any other event do to themselves or others on this night or any night of this event or any other event. You are all adults (must be 18 or over to participate). Don't be stupid.
DUNK TANK U.R.S.T. (underwater search and rescue technician) Leader: The honorable retired Navy Special Forces Penguin Unit Critterman
DUNK TANK JUDGE: The dishonorable retired Tubing failure ReedRed. Reed will be judging the Plunge based on whatever parameters he feels will impress him on that night.
1. GJ ( the Originator....who else would come up with such an idea? OK, perhaps Stephen Hawking, but other than that...) Not much is really known about GJ. He invited himself to last years MMMM7 and has been a plague to the forum since late in 2009. Has been known to be helpful and creative, devious and sadistic - all in the same night.
2. DDM DAVE ( the Encouragement, must wear ear flaps. Perhaps the most valuable player on the team, but subject to board review for "conduct unbecoming...") Strange breed here. Potential genius, but talks so nonsensical most of the time nobody understands a word he says, but it sounds brilliant.
3. SHINY - event Sophomore, but a rookie plunger and first female (although the jury is still out on GJ) may need duct tape to hold floatation devices close to body and avoid injury to those around her. Currently swimming daily - may be the only person here that can actually swim.
4. KENNY - rookie (and very pale. Might want to think about a spray on tan first... probably normally wears women's underwear, but will make it a point to wear swim trunks for this event to avoid embarrassment. Recently married. His new wife wonders where her favorite "barely theres" disappear to.
5. KELU - rookie (in much need of spiritual healing, and might still be suffering from Jet lag. Potential drowning hazard.) has never seen water quite as brown as the delta and will be very scared. Please provide some emotional support as needed. Also - bald. Not sure if it's "bald all over" Will have to wait for comments from the Donkey after Friday night.
6. SPIKY / SPICY / SPACY / FLOUNDER- rookie and generally regarded as a really strong wimp (might need to wear arm floaties) Will undoubtedly have a VERY tight shirt on, possibly covered with sponsorship logos. If the shirt is removed, the rest of the men might as well give up... Reed will vote him "Best Abs"
7. CHRIS - aka Mini SlyBob aka Santa is my neighbor event Sophomore, but no one really remembers him (it's going to feel like bath water to him it's so friggin cold where he lives) Will be lucky to break the surface of the water. Weighs less than air. Might float away, so SHiNY will keep him on a leash.
8. CTSOLSTICE - rookie (another ghostly pale fella who claims to have worked many hours underwater. References are very sketchy on this one. Please keep a close eye on all Children and wallets when this guy is around) May not even make it to the event as he may be jailed due to "street racing against a Plane"
9. MORFIOUS- event Sophomore, but rookie plunger. VERY LIKELY TO BACK OUT AT LAST MINUTE. Odds on favorite to chicken out and stay on the dock. Never follows thru with anything he ever says he will do. SIDE NOTE: Cup Stacking Champion from MMMM7. Might be related to Critterman.
10. IBDRINKEN - rookie (Yankee fan, but yet somehow a nice guy). High probability to jump and miss the water. Aiming is not his strong suit and once threw a rock at the ground and missed. Potential dark horse for "splash of the year" due to an overinflated ego.
11. JIMMY BAJA - rookie (was not allowed to participate last year. His Mommy said "NO") A handsome and brawny fella that may just part the delta and walk to the other side, he's that good of a guy. Also an accomplished fisherman, he might come up with a trout (most likely a 3 eyed variety)
12. ISLAND HOPPER - event sophomore, but rookie plunger. Not entirely sure why, but my memory of this outstanding professional Chain Saw sculpting artist is very fuzzy. Seems to me he may need some assistance getting back out of the water once he jumps in. Also - a very poor sense of direction. He and IBDRINKEN should NOT be swim buddies. They will surely get lost.
13. DUCKSOL - rookie and relative unknown. Is well known to be brilliant one second and totally incoherent the next. Might be a heavy drinker. Likes heavy petting. Might be a heavy breather. Favorite movie quote of all time- "Do you do drugs Danny" - "all the time Sir " - "Good"
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
