Topic: CA/HI Highway

[Gentleman Jack]

Greatest road trip ever.  The soon to be built four lane (two per direction as previously discussed on this forum) highway from Southern California to Maui.  No speed limit, a few fun hills and turns and nothing but blue skies and ocean views.  Fantastic.

Sorry, no map currently available.

GJ

[deepwater805]

This is gonna be the coolest highway ever. As long as it doesn't connect with the 405 that is.

[2kwk4u]

"Sorry I'm 3 days late for work, boss.  I took a wrong turn and had to go to the next exit to turn around."

[duckSol]

 

The environmental impact wackos lost another one 

I hope there are places to buys  and   along the way

 

[Gentleman Jack]

"Sorry I'm 3 days late for work, boss.  I took a wrong turn and had to go to the next exit to turn around."

 

The fuel stations will be placed directly over the deep water drills, greatly reducing fuel prices because there will be no need to transport the fuel.  Just drill and fill!  Gas is predicted to be about 50 cents a gallon, diesel about 62 cents.  There might be a toll somewhere along the way.  So far Mariott hotels and McDonalds have deals in place, but there a still many buisiness oportunities available.  Anyone want to open a street sweeping buisiness?  It's 2550 miles one way.  At 100 miles per hour, it's only a 25 hour drive!
Going to have to work on the aerodynamics of the kappa.  100 MPH in a Solstice is going to be burning about 5 gallons of gas per mile.

GJ

Gj

[Sol Asylum]

As co founder of this bridge I can say there most definitely will be a toll as it wouldn't be fair to GJ and myself to ever have to work another day of our lives.  The revenue generated should be sufficient for us to retire comfortably.  The toll won't be collected at the start but rather periodical along the way so as to breakup the expense into a more manageable amount for our patrons.  There will be a KP members discount.

Oh yeah GJ forgot to mention that the lines on the road will be painted a vary particular shade of pink for obvious reasons, but this in no way should discourage people from using the bridge regardless of their sexual orientation.

The bridge will be slightly longer then originally expected as we decided to install some fun twisties to break up the monotony of the other wise 2000+ miles of straight roads.

Fishing will be allowed however you will be required to purchase a GJSA bridge fishing license, and if you ask me it will be worth every penny of the $2.5mil we are selling them for.

Another rule of the road so to speak is that everyone has to move over and yield right of way for the kappas, we look out for our own you know.

[Gentleman Jack]

I like it.

[duckSol]

Me like' too 

Where do I send my application for Bridge Troll?

[Sol Asylum]

No No I said toll not troll.  We have Moby signed up for the job of troll as only a whale will be allowed to live under our bridge. 

I didn't think ducks liked salt water.

Which reminds me sea gulls are not allowed anywhere near the bridge unless they are hovering over a Miata!  Which should mean there will be plenty of separation between our kappas and the gulls so there should be no collateral damage.

[duckSol]

  Ever heard of SEA DUCKS 

An you neeeeeeeed a Bridge Troll to keep the riff raff off the rip rap and to charge extra for them ferrin karz 

[Sol Asylum]

Nope never heard of a sea duck, I'm from Illinois we're like 1000 miles away from any salt water.

I guess it won't hurt to have a troll just for those phoren quarz.  I'll have to talk to GJ as a formality but as long has he has no objection you got the job.

[Gentleman Jack]

Nope never heard of a sea duck, I'm from Illinois we're like 1000 miles away from any salt water.

I guess it won't hurt to have a troll just for those phoren quarz.  I'll have to talk to GJ as a formality but as long has he has no objection you got the job.

duckSol was the first to offer up for job of bridge troll.  He gets the job.  Besides, have you seen how slow KWhale moves?  We are going to need more than one Troll.  Besides, KWhale can't ask tricky questions about Swallows, so duckSol can handle that part.

There are going to be other job openings:

Bungee Jumping instructor
Defensive Driving instructor
Miata eradicator
Sea Gull training instructor
Oil Rig Captain - Deepwater 805 has this wrapped up


SA- what other jobs are we going to need to fill?

GJ

[deepwater805]

Isn't having an unanswerable riddle part of the job description for a Bridge Troll?   I've got one: If they stopped burning witches 400 years ago, then why is my ex mother-in-law still alive?  

Please Mister Wizard...I dunna wanna be no oil rig captian no mo.....

[Sol Asylum]

I forgot to ask if Ducksol knew the difference between African and European swallows good catch GJ.

Lets see possible other jobs:
  Snow plow driver, I hope not but if so I think Baconbits can help us out there
  Road kill remover, I'm not sure what kind of wild life we may be getting into
  Draw bridge operator, GJ how tall was this bridge again?
  Auto repair techs, unless we decide to ban those Toyotas and unreliable Italian sports cars.
  Game Worden for the fishermen, fishing license fees are going to have to go up.
  Trash collectors, wait that may be covered by Miata eradicators.

Deepwater doesn't want to be the captain lets make him a lieutenant, we don't want anyone to be disgruntled we would much rather they be gruntled.

Deepwater ducksol doesn't need a riddle, have you ever tried to figure out what it is that he is saying?

PS I want to see someone try and hijack this thread, thats not a challenge to you GJ its your thread.

[Critterman]

I think we actually need a road to Europe, that way Kelu could come to the mod meets.  Screw the left coast the right coast needs a coastal highway

[duckSol]

me haz udder qualificatuns 

Graduate and Certified Instructor of The Cale Yarborough School Of OFFENSIVE Driving 

[Sol Asylum]

I think we actually need a road to Europe, that way Kelu could come to the mod meets.  Screw the left coast the right coast needs a coastal highway

If we did this it wouldn't be the CA/HI highway, you need to start a new thread.  Nice try on the hijack though.

[Gentleman Jack]

DeepWater-

OK ok, you don't have to be the Capitan.  I have a better idea.  Why don't you just OWN the rigs... no, in light of recent events that's not good either.  Ok, you can be the road inspector.   All you have to do is drive the road end to end over and over.  There will be the worlds best wines waiting for you at each end.  you have three days ashore and then back on the road for three days.  You will not have to abide by any speed limit, as long as you can inspect for cracks.  You also have first dibs on all single red headed women that cross the bridge.  I just threw that in to sweeten the deal. 

GJ

[Sol Asylum]

I would have thought inspecting cracks would have sweetened the deal on its own.

[BellaVerde]

ducksol asked me to step in as a bridge designer(N.C.;ret.) and partial translator.  Half the stuff he says even gets by ME, a fellow pine tar afficiando!

Great idea!  Always dreamed of a real intercoastal bridge!  All ideas so far CAN be accomodated.  Just one note, here, ducksol.  We want the ferengi down on the RipRap, NOT up on the bridge!  However, you, dear ducky, will have to determine the working definition of ferengi, so everyone will be treated equally, if not fairly.

The secondary reason for lots of twisties is expansion.  Whether the Pacific is shrinking or expanding, there will have to be some flexibility built in to allow for it.  Some of the structure (sorry, insider tech term...) will have to be built on floaters, due to the great depths;  I would propose a partnership with Motel 6 (deep 6!  get it....o well) to combine the floating foundations with overnight accomadations, complete with underwater views and real submarine rides.  We could probably get 500 bucks a seat, and retired admirals will work cheap.  Another benefit would be the ability to check out degree of bump steer during inclement weather.

Any questions?

[Sol Asylum]

Bella welcome to the forum GJ and I are pleased that your first post would be in a thread that we corrupted right from the start.  Look at that DBG, GJ and I are helping bring new people on board, I'm sure no one thought that we could do that.  Kind of makes up for all those people we've scared off.

I was thinking we could do a suspension bridge across the Pacific that way we wouldn't have to worry too much about earth quakes and such.  However we need to make sure that the twisties don't resemble the Tacoma Narrows twisties.  We have to think about non Kappa cars too and how they can't handle the road as well.

Having a designer/scape goat makes good sense from a legal stand point.  The fact that you can sometimes understand duck would be a huge help.

[duckSol]

Thanks BV for the conslut, uh - consult 

This bump steer thing your were talking about. ---~~~---

IZ that like running up on 450 pounds of sausage on the hoof eating spilled corn in a blind curve on NC SR 1004?

This might change some job descriptions 

[BellaVerde]

That's what caused the The Great Western KappaLaunch?  Who spilled the corn, one of Junior Johnson's buddies?

Way it was explained to me....bumps in the road can change the toe in/out angle a bit...if the undulations are not "regular", then the vehicle can "dart about" a bit.  Made sense to me.

[BellaVerde]

Great to be here!

The bridge would have to be suspension as much as possible, as it provides the longest spans for the dollar.  But, they also require a firm support, which requires a strong foundation, which requires bedrock close to the surface of the sea.  Look at one of those NatGeo maps of the ocean and see the deep trenches!  That's where the floaters come in.  Oh, When the cost starts getting involved, look at 200 dollars....per square foot! (do the math)

Didn't really qualify for the "performance" part of the forum:  until recently all I had was a K&N filter.  Did add a Solo system head to tail a couple of weeks ago, so.........

[Gentleman Jack]

BellaVerda,

You don't have to have any performance items to be part of our forum.  Some of us have been hired on as funny people.  We don't even know how to drive!  KWhale is actually blind (no offense to any blind people reading this ) and SA, well, he is only let out of his padded room on special occasions, and never without a secruity detail.

Congrats on the Solo set up.  What's next?  Tune? (Heard there is a decent tune for the NA.  Don't know much about it, but there is one DDMWorks I believe) Supercharger? Any thoughts?

GJ